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Sorry for the big VM yesterday, and yeah don't worry, I am not scared if things stand on the net =)

Very mixed. I had reacted to an online advertisement to search for a BF (from another boy). And we started chating and all. And in my eyes we arranged a date.. And then he said he was only speaking to one person in which he could see a potential BF. That not being me, and I had to ask if that meant that he did not want to see if I was potential.. But no I was not potential anymore. And then I think why are people first asking for a BF, and then they expect the people that react not to think that they stand a chance.. what was really strange however that he played pokemon aswell.. xD I didn't met him on a pokemon site so that being strange.

But that made me feel bad. Especially since at first I didn't really feel anything for him, and I started to have some sort of feelings since we shared much things.. And then someone just goes for looks. I thought I was wrong... I mean I take looks in consideration. Sort of if someone looks terrible, and doesn't do anything for it (I mean things like cutting hair better or so) then I think no chance if (s)he wants me. But the thing is, I can fell in love and even like someones appereance later on.. like that happend with this guy..

I just dislike how people restrict their choices that much.. that way I don't stand a chance at all.

Anyway I had a very big rant, but there is also something positive, I got my drivers licence! And I am verliebt (that other thing was just a crush) with Nick, a person from my study, he is so handsome and all. At first I thought he was gay.. And I didn't really fellt attracted to him, but more and more I started to like him xD. And I have added him on msn and we do chat occasionally and it looks fine. Btw another thing did I told you about some guy willem? if not, then that was a crush, and didn't become anything..

I hope you get to be verliebt aswell, and be succesfull with it

I'm okay I guess just too distracted from what I'm supposed to be doing
how are you?

Hey VH just checking another time, I am curious how are you doing?

Hey VH, how are you doing? Sorry that I wasn't here that much =( I barely have time to do much nowadays. Okay that is not completly right, but after all we do also have something more than school homework besides the internet

bye, hope you are sleeping well

I am going to bed so good night and sleep well. Ciao~

I don't know her age, but she begun her study in 1999, so I think she is like ~7 years older.

10 people it is a lot, but it is also a way to spread chances. Btw notice that only (at least often) 1 stands out (or zero). The others are more like looking a bit flirting but no major action.

I see. I also have that problem. Although trying to set some goals might help a lot. Like "I want to read chapter 1 today" Even so take in account that you might "losen up" and thus do less.

well, someone's job shouldn't have any influence on crushes, is she much older than you?

10 people? that's a lot
when I was younger I had plenty of crushes (especially in primary school, but you can't take that seriously) , now I kinda can only focus on one person

and I always start learning to late, I lack of self control, kinda :/

She is a teacher and works at uni, I am a student and I have a small job at uni. Maybe I should, but aswell I shouldn't I mean for example concerning boys it is for me like 10 times harder to find one (1 on 10 is gay/bi). I do agree I crush more than average or so. But maybe it is also that boys crush more than girls. I have heard a lot of boys that are the same (okay they only like girls though). Boys can simple have small crushes on 10 people at the time (for instance). 10 people they know.

anyway about learning, maybe you really get yourself to do it. I also tried that and it worked out (slightly)